apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
