so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you didnt know i had herpes?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
