Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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