I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
