I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
