i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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