I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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