I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize