Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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