Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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