We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
