I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
