Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Come back. Shots need mouths.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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