At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
