I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
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She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
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Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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