The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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