I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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