is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
