Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
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I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
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He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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