Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
The chlamydia really affected his face.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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