My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Did I show you my penis last night?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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