You're so nebulous sometimes
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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