he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
You're like the curious george of whores
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
