Christians are straight up FREAKS
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
