And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize
