I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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