Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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