guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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