this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
