I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
