At least make sure they are 18
Why
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
