Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
