So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
