1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
