Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
whose parrot is this?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
Pick me up at 9.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?