So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
