barbara walters just said penis...
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
