rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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