I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
