too bad you live with your parents still
I met the friendliest cop last night
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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