i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
