she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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