Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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