let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
