my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
