you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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