I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
