a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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