I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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