I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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