Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Randomize