Will you blow on my dice?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
