so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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