Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize
