I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I think I sprained my soul last night
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
