he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
