32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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