things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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