But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
drinking out of a sandbucket again
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
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