I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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