we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
