He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
