Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
