he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
